Pruning, Acceptance, Rejection

I feel as though the Lord has been pruning and disciplining. In this relationship I have treasured, He has cut back what has grown in the last year. Pruning is difficult. It is painful. I feel the weight of that. When you are in the midst of the pruning and the discipline it looks as though you are being killed and destroyed. It feels like God is taking away the very thing that is valuable and worth something in your life. Yet, the word says that He prunes away in order that you may produce more fruit. So I pray that He would bring a greater harvest and restoration in the very place that He has cut and torn away.

Part of the pruning has shown me how I have grown attached and fed on the acceptance I’ve experienced in this relationship. I must find my acceptance only in Him. When we seek acceptance from someone and don’t get it, then we feel rejection. When I am seeking acceptance all the time I end up on a rollercoaster of emotions…when I get some acceptance I am happy and hopeful…then I experience either rejection or simply a lack of affirmation and I am depressed and discouraged.

 Jesus never entrusted Himself to man’s opinions or acceptance….and He was emotionally stable and steadfast. He knew and completely relied on the Father’s acceptance and love. I want that. Jesus withdrew many times to be alone in desert places and there He was renewed. There He got direction and confirmation on what He should do. There lies the secret. Abiding…keeping that relationship at all costs.

I read in My Utmost about how self-consciousness upsets the completeness of the life in God. “It is never God’s will that we should be anything less than absolutely complete in Him. Anything that disturbs rest in Him must be cured at once, and it is not cured by being ignored, but by coming to Jesus Christ. If we come to Him and ask Him to produce Christ-consciousness, He will always do it until we learn to abide in Him.”  -Oswald Chambers

I long for this Christ-consciousness! I long for Your acceptance and love to be what rules my heart and my emotions. Keep my eyes on You so I can relate to everyone around me with confidence and with Your love.